Trusting in the Lord

Feb 2nd

One of the best and most important things is to be sure that we are walking in the centre of God’s will. I have learnt over the past few years that if you are unsure or doubtful that you are where God wants you then it’s time to seriously pray and seek his direction. It is okay to be in this place of seeking, but we have to labour in it until he directs, confirms, and gives us that assurance.
For there will come times in our lives when the best thing we have to hang onto is “God, I know this is the place you want me, so i’m choosing to trust you.” And then to let that bring peace into our hearts.

The first few days here have been great, but not without doubts and times when i’ve had to surrender again to the Lords purposes for me. I feel like I am on the verge of a whole new chapter in my Christian walk, maybe even a whole new book. Like everything I have learnt and achieved in my walk so far, all the strengths I perceived that I have, now belong on the shelf. I can’t fall back on it, I can’t walk in it...not that it means nothing now, but I have become a blank page for the Lord to write on. Pastor Caleb illustrated in my first class yesterday that if we come to the Lord with a cup which is full, and He tries to pour in, then nothing will be added and the water will just spill out. Instead we want to come with an empty cup, completely willing and ready for the Lord to fill us, teach us, grow us. So that’s how I’m feeling right now.
Every lesson- be it servant heartedness, loving others, loving the Lord, listening to the Spirit, stewardship etc. etc. is going to be learned afresh this year. I want the Lord to use this time of being away from friends, work, movies, and other distractions to renew my mind.
I’m getting quite philosophical so I’m hoping this is making some sense. This is as much for my own sanity as well as sharing my heart so you know how to pray for me.

So on a more practical level, things you can pray that I trust the Lord in are things like my school work- it has been a challenge getting back in the mindset of having a timetable, classes, assignments with due dates, having to organise and prioritise my time so I make the most out of the 169 hours a week. On one hand I want to run back to the easy life of work, then socialising and voluntarily studying the bible when it was most convenient and enjoyable. On the other hand I am excited for the challenge, and know deep down I would far prefer to be here. Our mind and our flesh are good at trying to look back and live in the good times of the past, quickly forgetting that those times had their own set of challenges. Once again, it comes down to trusting the Lord has me where he wants me.
What’s more is as a missionary training (MTP) student I really want to be not filling up my brain with academic knowledge but learning how to put God’s word into practice, and listening for His guidance and direction. They expect us MTPs to be the heartbeat of love and servant hood in the school here. So I dont want to get too caught up in assignments and getting a good grade, that I lose the 'applying' of scripture and the practical ways I love the other students on campus. And above all I want to cultivate that relationship with Jesus, rather than just the knowledge of Jesus.

This Friday will be our first outreach opportunity, in a nearby city helping a church plant get their name out onto the streets. Do I feel prepared for such a venture- not at all! But I am a blank page ready for the Lord to form and fold and put to use. Placing my trust in Him. So theres some prayer requests and updates.
Thank you for those who have emailed or facebooked with encouragements, and for those praying. I really appreciate you guys!

Much Love, Jemma