YAY for a blog

October 21^st

You know when something is in the back of your mind, and you always hope to have that moment of free time to get it done, but it never happens? Yeah, that’s how this blog has been this semester. Consequently you haven’t heard from me and I haven’t had this wonderful opportunity of de-brief in almost two months.

The reason I have finally sat down with fingers to keys and heart at the ready is tomorrow, actually in less than 12 hours, I will be on route to Split, Croatia, for this semesters 10 day outreach. I thought it imperative to write, not only to bring things up to speed before I come back with those stories too, but so I can have prayer support! We will be joining a missionary couple there who own and run a coffee shop and shepherd a small fellowship of believers. While the 16 of us are there (yes, it’s a massive team, please pray for our unity and that no-one gets lost) we will be helping with the coffee shop, and doing a LOT of street evangelism. We’ve prepared 3 different skits which are designed to share the truth of the gospel, and will be our conversation starters. I am so thrilled to be part of them and have had a blast rehearsing. I think song and movement is a powerful medium to communicate, and at least break the ice and spark people’s interest. I had a small taste of using a skit a few weeks ago in Budapest; a group of us were doing more of a tourist weekend, but decided to go outside our hostel to do some evangelism. The hostel, called the Citadella, happened to be on the highest hill with a 360 degree view of the city lights. Not only was it beautiful for us to look at, on a Saturday night many tourists come up to the lookout point which is where we planted ourselves. We began by singing worship songs, then once the attention was drawn we performed our skit, Pastor Bud preached and then we split off for some one on one conversations. It was incredible, I was part of three different conversations that were all very different but all positive. It’s exhilarating to be able to share about how wonderful Jesus is, how he has changed my life so much. It’s a wake up call to come back to the simplicity of the gospel, when so often I cloud my mind with complex thoughts about either theology or the Lord’s will or what I should or should not be doing.

Anyway basically we are going to be doing that for one week straight. Split is a really old city, down south on the coast, a 14 hour train ride away. Croatia is a predominately Catholic country, meaning many people are hard-hearted to the true gospel, caught in dead religious works or thinking they are right with God when that relationship with Him just doesn’t exist. As far as we’ve been told the city of Split has a large mixture of cultures as well as tourists, and lots of young people, so sharing in English is not a problem. It is very exciting! But obviously a little scary. I just know I need to be filled with the Spirit, to not walk in any of my own strength or wisdom but to walk in His power and with His love. My fear is becoming so caught up in the words and making sure I’m doing my part, that I don’t even care about the person I’m sharing with. I want to listen, to love, to care, then to share, knowing that Jesus is what every person in this world needs. And then to trust that Jesus wants to save people more than I want to see people saved. His spirit will be what stirs people, what draws them to our message. I’ve been studying the book of Acts this semester, and just love how God used these ordinary human beings (the disciples) who were just called to be witnesses. That means that they testified unashamedly of the things they knew to be true.

I would love to be able to write of the many lessons God has been teaching me through my classes this semester, but simply don’t have time (or the brain capacity/recollection). There are a couple words though that have been key- receive, response and relationship. (I wonder if it’s just how my brain works that I have a neat little alliteration there, or completely coincidental).
Recieve, because I have a tendency to prevent myself from receiving by my pride. I come to God holding onto the things I think are my strengths, thinking I can do anything...but the problem is when I come to Him holding something I can’t reach out and take anything. So I need to be reminded that the only thing useful to me is to admit complete need and dependence on Him, and to receive His power. And the other side of that is to receive grace.

Which is where response and relationship come in. Christianity is only ever meant to be a response to the things God has done... I see God’s goodness and respond with trust. I see the salvation He offers and respond in faith. I see the good plans he has for me to walk in, and respond in obedience. Relationship means that He loves me no matter what. Whether I am having a good day or bad day, whether I’ve made a ton of mistakes. If I forfeit anything, I forfeit the closeness and sweetness of that relationship. This has been a theme that’s flowed throughout my Genesis class, looking at the life of Abraham and his walk with God. Good stuff. I hope that all makes sense.

Okay, few, I finally have a blog written! Yay! I hope its encouraging, Im always encouraged by the feedback. And please pray for my trip to Croatia! I get back on the 31^st of October.

Love you all!

Give and it shall be given unto you

When Moses stood before the great Egyptian ruler Pharaoh, he spoke a message directly from the mouth of God; “Let my people go, that they may serve Me in the wilderness.” (Exodus 8:16) God’s people the Israelites had spent many years enslaved by Pharaoh, who “made their lives bitter with hard labour”. It was time for deliverance. God had not overlooked their bondage, but had “seen the oppression of His people, and heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for He knew their sorrows.” God is a God of rescue, release, redemption, salvation. But notice He is not just concerned about getting them out of there, but about what they will do once they are free. He first promises that He will “take you (the Israelites) as My people, and I will be your God”, and that He will “bring you into a good and large land”. He promises to look after them as His own children, and to give them an inheritance. This in itself is wonderful, and the cause for much rejoicing. But there is even more- God wanted to rescue them for a purpose “that they may serve me”. Far from sounding enslaving, this also wonderful news. Life has meaning, has value, has direction.

These words have stuck with me as I finish up the last few weeks of the “summer of service” program here at the college in Vajta, Hungary. I’ve been thinking about what God has shown me in this time and I simply conclude that it is the truth of Jesus’ statement, quoted for us by Paul in Acts 20:35 “It is more blessed to give, than to receive”. If the word ‘blessed’ means ‘how happy are they” then I can only praise God that His purpose was to save me that I may serve Him, by serving others.

This was highlighted to me by a quote I read in a book, the biography of a 19^th century pioneer missionary named Lilias Trotter. She says “For the blessedness of receiving is not all God has for us: a new world lies beyond- a world of giving: a giving first to God in surrender, and then to man in sacrifice. ‘Ask and it shall be given unto You’ is one of God’s nursery lessons to His children. ‘Give, and it shall be given unto you’ comes further on.”

It astounds me how amazingly God writes the plans and directions for our lives, tailoring them to our individual characteristics and gifts. He does know us, and He does love us. I am so glad I have given my life to Him. There will never be another decision in my life that could even come close in importance or significance as to the one to surrender to God.

I have thoroughly enjoyed every part of the summer time here. Some things I look back on and think- how did I survive that? Making 60 cheesecakes in 5 days, in between serving coffee and doing mountains of dishes, is now the memory of one incredible week. God gave strength in the midst of it, as if my very energy was coming from every slice of the hallowed dessert I handed across the counter. The comradery and fellowship amongst the team here has been so enjoyable. As we eat, live, work and relax alongside each other, God has knitted us together as a family. Thus the goodbyes, which are becoming more frequent as the summer winds up and people go home (wherever that may be in the world, whether the US or Brazil, or Croatia or somewhere else) are the only thing to taint the experience! But I’ve learnt never to assume a goodbye is final, you just never know when God may reunite you with someone from the past. And there’s the wonderful world of internet communication...

Right now I am in a total transition period. I should first tell you that God has opened the door and blessed my desire to complete the program with my second semester here. This means another four months in Hungary! To think at the beginning of the summer I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be here for the Fall semester, or how the finances would work out- and now to be preparing with excitement and anticipation for this new season- how my heart is praising Him! He provided. Firstly the direction, affirming His plan, and secondly tuition- miraculously, abundantly. And not only for me, my very good friend Laura was unsure if she could continue her studies right up until the day she was due to fly out! So I’ve seen God answer prayer and show his control over everything.

So the transition begins....the Cap Bar closed down this week and all our friendly appliances are bidded a sad farewell. I will miss our menopausal icecream machine Helga, and Beka the emotional expresso machine, and my beloved oven (who I think we named Chris). Instead this week I have been moved (I was going to use the word banished, but im trying to be more positive than that) to the upstairs Coffee Shop. The appliances are yet to be named, but considering it is more than likely that the rest of the Cap Bar team will soon be joining me, working there during the next semester, I am sure that more joyous times are ahead and I will have new appliance friends to tell you about in the next blog.

Now after moving into my new dorm room a couple days ago, it is just waiting for the other beds to be filled when the new and returning students arrive on the 3^rd and 4^th of next month. I have been given the responsibility of dorm steward, meaning I get to be mum- please pray I can institute unity and be loving and encouraging and also firm when it comes to keeping curfew hours. =) I am definitely looking forward to being the one who can welcome people, give the right information, show people around- an entirely different scenario from me arriving jetlagged from the other side of the world, not knowing where on earth I had landed or what I had gotten myself into last January. Exciting times ahead.

Please also pray that my heart would be prepared for whatever God wants to show me or do in me this semester. Pray I can walk in what He did in me last semester, and that He would firmly establish each step and the direction for me to go next year, guiding each decision and granting peace.

Love you all and wish that God would pour out His Spirit upon you, that you would live for Him to be glorified.

Jemma

Bloom and Grow

How strange to imagine this foreign land once coated in a sparkling blanket of pure white is now a sauna of thick hot air, with watermelon stands on the side of the road and fields of sunflowers and sprinklers working overtime to keep the grass green. The temperature has barely dropped below 30 degrees for two weeks straight. Summer in July, a concept I am only just accepting to be a reality. How strange to be living through the normally long drawn out middle of the year, spent hibernating in ugg boots, instead living life to the full in my flip-flops. Is 2010 a blessed year for me? I think so.

The summer season here at the Castle in Vajta is wonderful. It has had a different feel to the semester altogether, which I can’t entirely describe, or tell you what exactly changed. Maybe its me that changed. Certainly I feel a lot more settled and have become more comfortable with the place and the people. The picture in my mind is that I was a shrub (certainly I am not strong or noble enough to be compared with a tree) that totally uprooted. The roots that clung to my reputation, friends, and general home comforts had trouble getting used to the new soil, and so the Lord had me in a pot and personally cared for and tended to me. His water and sunlight was my sustenance. This was and is an experience I would not have passed up for any amount of uncomfortability. But when I arrived back in Vajta to begin my time as a Summer of Service volunteer He decided to plant me. The first night I arrived and walked the loop through the beautiful green trees I felt the firm earth around me, and rejoiced. I feel like I am now part of His garden here, along with the rest of the family and body who I have the privilege of serving and ‘blooming’ along side of. He is still my Gardener, my sustenance, the one who comes now and again to prune and water. But for the most part it is a season of just blooming rather of needing constant tending.

To put it more plainly I think the atmosphere is different because of the nature of our task as a Summer of Service crew- that we are a community with one mind to imitate our Saviour Jesus and serve without expecting earthly reward. We are a family, working together as a body, to bless others. While many brothers and sisters in Christ pass through this place weekly, from literally all over the world, come Saturday morning they leave and the family remains- to clean up and then relax and unwind before our next guests. Community volleyball tournaments and pool time is just different to the semester experience. I feel like the friendships are deeper and sweeter, which is also just my attitude that has changed. Being outdoors, the exercise and sunshine, oh sweet sunshine, I have no doubt about the effects of the endorphins and Vitamin D on one’s mental state.

I do see the potential for the time to become routine and mundane; working 5-7 hours a day, six days of the week, week after week. I have possibly made over 100 cheesecakes this summer, but does is get old? Never...well, thats a lie, occasionally the thought of crushing more biscuits is met with an inward sigh and a prayer- but thanks be to God for his joy and strength, for the most part I can say it is an exciting sort of life. I feel blessed to be in a position in the ‘Cap Bar’ where I get to use the gifts and talents God has given me. And I get to have face to face interaction with our conference guests, and hear stories of missionaries in hostile lands or just see Hungarian believers full of the same Spirit. You know it is a unique kind of coffee shop where a small bright eyed blond haired boy comes in asks me a question in perfect Arabic or some other language unknown to me. “No son, this isn’t Africa, they don’t have Mango ice-cream in Hungary”.

I have been exhorted by the Lord to live with a simple goal, taken from the biography of Amy Carmichael- “nothing less than to walk with God everyday”. This involves placing the Lord in my mind as the first thought when I wake up, and when I go to sleep, and knowing He is there with me in all the little things, doing dishes and serving customers. It involves keeping a lot of my selfish attitudes in check- the tendancy to give glory to myself, or judge or envy others around me. It requires always looking to the example of Jesus who did not come to be served but to serve. I finally understand the verse that says ‘a servant is not greater than his master’. Since Jesus demonstrated the willingness to take the lowest servants job- washing the grimy feet of the guests, how can we think we are above any task? Not that I think making cheesecake and cappuccinos is the least bit a low form of service, ha! But it is the principle of being humble and not thinking highly of myself. I seek not to make a name for myself, but to lift up the name of Jesus.

So that’s where I’m at, and shall continue for at least one more month. After that, God will reveal the plans at just the right time! For those blessed hearts reading this and wondering how best to pray for me, please pray I would listen to the Lord and not my own heart, that I would know His clear direction. I know this is a prayer He always answers when our hearts are right before Him, so just to have confidence and peace in that. And to serve with the right heart and motive- out of love for Jesus and joy in serving Him, not for selfish reasons. Strength and health....and anything else God puts on your hearts.

There are so many songs I like that reflect my heart and prayers but this one came up in shuffle as I was writing this, and I really love the heart of it, so I’d like to share part of it...

Sarah Reeves “Sweet Sweet Sound”

I am an instrument of the living God,
my life a melody to his name.
More than the songs I sing
Worship is everything
I live to glorify my King

Hear the song of my life
Let it be a sweet sweet sound
Let it be a sweet sweet sound

I raise this anthem high,
Let it be a sweet sweet sound
Let it be a sweet sweet sound

Dusseldorf Reflections

Im not sure if its required of me, but at bible college they are very keen on the idea of ‘reflection papers’ so I’ve gotten used to this idea of writing about the lessons God taught me, the positive and negative aspects of the trip and so forth. I believe it is a good exercise, trying to see God’s hand and what He was doing in and around me. So I’ll do it in blog form, and get a head start while its fresh in my mind, before the inevitable assignment is even given.

I will say though, that I think we can never fully fathom God’s purposes; they are much greater than we could ever comprehend. I know from experience that He prepares us for things in the future, but that ‘future’ could mean 10, 20, 50 years down the track, or maybe even eternity. This gives me great rest that God had a reason for each day, for putting me in that specific city in Germany with that specific family, with the specific tasks I was able to complete over the 30 days.

As I wrote last blog the trip taught me alot about putting my self aside. God is answering prayers to help me grow less ‘self’-conscious. I am learning that the opposite of self-consciousness is not self-confidence, but Christ-confidence. I know who I am in my relationship to Jesus, it little matters to me how others view me. Of course it can be a battle to think this way, but I find the more we let God’s word and promises capture our heart, the less we feel insecure or seek approval from others, rather than God. I had to remind myself in Germany that it was not my self I offered to the church, with whatever talents and abilities I possess. It is the Holy Spirit living inside me that I offer them. I’m just a vessel God is inhabiting, to be used how He see’s fit.

Where I might have first imagined going to Germany to be some spiritual hero, ready to serve to my greatest capacity, I found that it was not about me at all. Though I know my help was appreciated, they didn’t really need me. And I’m so glad! I think when we start thinking “if it wasn’t for me I don’t know what they would do”, or “what would they have done without me?” we start getting caught up in pride and self-congratulation. Instead, I just got to come alongside and join in on what was going on in Dusseldorf. I got to help with the ministry in little ways, get to know the believers there, pray for the needs. Pretty much become a member of the Coronel family. It was so nice and relaxing, not to feel a burden of “they are counting on me to get all this work done”.
I think it should be the same with our relationship to God. He doesn’t need us, really. But we are invited to join alongside his ministry, to be part of His family and help in whatever ways he asks us to. The burden is not on us to be a serving machine.
What the church WAS counting on me for, and what God requires of us too, is that I was faithful. That my actions glorified God, being Christlike. My goal everyday was, “God whatever you have for me today, let me do it unto you, and glorify you in it”. Simple! God may not have a 8 hour a day schedule of things to serve him in, but we should want to be faithful to whatever he does have.

This leads me to my next discovery, which is that God determines ‘need’ anyway, not us. There is much need in the world in general. The world needs a saviour, they need to hear the gospel and see its reality in real people’s lives. But God determines where he “needs” us, and this may not be what we perceive as a great need. The examples in scripture that have been strong in my mind are Ezekial, when he was called was told “they are impudent and stubborn children. I am sending you to them, and you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God’. As for them, whether they hear or whether they refuse-for they are a rebellious house-yet they will know that a prophet has been among them.” God knew the hearts of the people were not going to be responsive, yet he wanted Ezekiel to go anyway. Isaiah had a similar calling. And then there’s the classic example of Jonah, who thought God was crazy to tell him to go to his enemies, the Ninevites, to preach repentance. Yet God knew they would respond. So this leads me to think that we should not make decisions on what we perceive, but always let God lead! He has a specific ministry and way he will use each of us, for His own purposes. It is also interesting to me that Jesus looks at the world and says to His disciples “the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few” (recognising the need) but he does not say “so you should all be out there, working!” His next instruction is “pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest”. Pray for more people to be sent, commissioned, called by the Lord to be workers for Him. Before you yourself go, pray to be truly “sent”, not just running off to fill the mountainous needs.

So this is where I am at the moment, seeking what the Lord would call me to, rather than trying to tell him where He needs me.

I could keep telling you about lessons I’m learning about His grace, which covers every step I make. He is so gracious, you have no idea how many times I’ve done stupid things that He’s worked out because he loves me. Like leaving my laptop alone in the Budapest train station for a full ten minutes by accident, and it still being there when I realised and panicked. Actually that was just part of my day of grace, where I made it from Germany to the Castle in Vajta by myself, by four different means of transport, without getting lost, left behind or losing anything!

So yes, I’m now back at the college, where for the next two months i’ll be part of the “Summer of Service” team. I was so excited upon returning to discover that the specific area they placed me in is working in the coffee shop (“Cap Bar”). This means I get to serve coffee and icecream and cheesecake, to conference guests from all over the world, inside a nice air-conditioned room while the sun shines bright outdoors. Yep, missionary life can be hard sometimes. Okay, at least today I helped vacuum rooms and dust and make beds for a good 5 hours. Exhausting, but I think it’s fun to be part of the ‘behind the scenes’ team, to make things as wonderful as possible for the missionaries coming to be refreshed and renewed.

I’ve said enough! Off to dinner =)

Grace and Selflessness

Saturday 29th May 2010

Right now I am sitting in a spare-room-turned-bedroom of a third story apartment that a lovely couple is graciously letting me stay in for part of my time here in Germany. I often have to pinch myself at how blessed I am to be part of a world-wide family marked by selfless love that we call Christianity. More than having instant friends whichever country I travel to, I find people who treat me as family; Burkhard and Nellie are just one such example of the genuine love that allows me to feel so welcome into their homes and hearts, that I know I am not deserving of any of it, apart from believing it is all wrapped up in the grace offered by Jesus dying on the cross. Jesus endured God’s wrath so I could experience God’s grace, not just for one time but every single day I live! “The Lord is gracious in all His works” the bible tells us in Psalm 145. Every single thing He does is connected to the fact that He does not give us what we deserve but chooses to bless us beyond what we deserve!

How hard it is sometimes to believe that; we like to know we have earned and deserved the things we get. There can be a sense of guilt hanging over us or a burden to fulfil- but this can just be our pride. We need to be set free to receive. These are some of the thoughts I’ve been pondering while being here. I’m in Germany for one month for a mission-trip/experience, to see what God is doing here in Germany and be of service to the church and missionaries who live here. I’ve been able to help in various practical ways but it’s been more of a fun and relaxing time than anything. I love the people I have met here, the American family who started the church some years ago were hosting me these past two weeks and I’ve enjoyed their company immensely, as well as the rest of the church body. I have been thinking am I doing enough to warrant these people’s hospitality? But here is where we learn to trust in God’s plan. He has reasons for arranging for me to be specifically here, more than I can imagine, and I am certainly learning a lot! Observing the daily examples of those I’m staying with is teaching me a lot about married life and family life and church life.

The biggest thing I’m learning about it selflessness. As already mentioned I am learning about the line between accepting people’s kindness, and how to respond to it unselfishly. This involves gratitude. I must come to the place where I realise it is from God’s grace, that I don’t start saying in my heart “I spent my money on a ticket over here so I deserve this” but instead just let my heart be filled with gratefulness and thanks.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the example of Jesus. When He came to earth He (unlike me) actually had reason to demand people to serve Him. But He did not! The bible tells us he “did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many”. That is a radical example for us to follow! This has been my standard- I don’t always reach it because of that thing called ‘flesh’ and ‘self’ but I am trying to just have a willing heart to serve in whatever way, shape or form. Anytime I’m called on, ‘in season and out of season’.

We think of selflessness often in terms of putting other people before us, which is correct. But the thing I’m really learning too is selflessness is most importantly laying aside our need/want to rule ourselves in order to let God rule us. In my first week here I started missing Australia a lot, but what I was missing was my old way of life where every day I could make my own decisions, earn my own money, drive where I wanted when I wanted. Which was not necessarily a bad thing! Follow along. It was that sense of independence I missed, having now been placed in a position where I was dependant on a family to feed and house me, doing whatever they instructed me to, going along with their day to day routines. In a sense I was living someone else’s life and I’m like ‘I want to live my own life!’. I feel it too when I go into shops, that selfishness desire to buy things for myself, missing being able to go into Kmart and know I could buy whatever I felt like at the time. But God reminded me of the verse in 1 Corinthians 6 that says ‘your life is not your own, you were bought at a price; Therefore glorify God with your body and in your spirit, which are Gods.’ I’ve given my life to Jesus, it’s not mine anymore. If this is what God has for me right now then I should accept it knowing His plans are better than my own!

Sin in essence is self-rule, that is what we are saved from. That well known verse in Isaiah 56 suddenly made a whole lot more sense to me the other day- it says we all like sheep had gone astray, every one of us turning to His own way, but the Lord laid on Him the iniquity of us all. It’s not easy. All that is in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, the pride of life- are things we need to constantly be checking that we haven’t fallen into. But 1 John 2 continues in giving us the encouragement, saying that ‘the world is passing away, and the lust of it, but he who does the will of God abides forever’. So please join with me in prayer that God would kill my selfishness and give me selflessness.

Well I think I’ve said enough for now! I will try get some pictures posted to add the rest of the details...Any questions or comments or if you want to make my day by giving me a detailed account of how you are doing, just email or facebook or skype...

Some prayer points would be:
To be attentive to all the Lord wants to show me while being in Germany.( I’ll be here til around the 20^th of June). For God to use me in people’s lives, and for ways to serve practically.
For God to continue to speak to me about the direction He has for me after I finish bible college.
For God to provide money for me to do my next semester.
God Bless. Tchuss!

Something I love about Germany is the story-book like altstadts (old cities). This one in Herbon was particularly cute!

If only it really was my own cottage....but we were just visiting the grandparents for the day...

Spagetti icecream anyone? Europe is awesome for its fancy Italian ice cream cafes... If missionary life fails i'm thinking these could be a big hit in Australia... =)

My new friends from the church here, Nellie (who is in fact Peruvian but recently married a German, they are who I am staying with for the next week) & Lisa.

Band "red rain" from New Zealand came to do an outdoor outreach concert in a park here in Dusseldorf. Many heard the gospel, it was great to be a part of.

Updates...

Guess what? I just finished and submitted my last assignment for this semester. I can hardly believe things are winding up and my classes are all over. It feels like only the beginning, like I just got settled, but now travel arrangements are being made, suitcases dusted off and people are talking excitedly about returning home to their beloved fast food chains (oh, and family members). I guess it’s a little different mindset for me, as I am thinking in terms of remaining for the summer and, if the Lord wills, a second semester. But there’s a sense of finality in the air, that means change is around the corner, and that makes my stomach tighten and heart grow just that bit heavier. It is a good time to be looking toward the Lord.

Before I talk about what’s to come however, I need to backtrack to what has been. Let’s start with the awesome week I had in Poland. As a team of 6 girls and a couple with two young kids, we set out for Poland, with a long day of travel ahead. Through four different means of transportation, totalling 15 hours, we made it through the beautiful Slovakian mountains into Poland, and onto the city of Radom.

We went to serve alongside a couple who have been ploughing the tough deeply Catholic soil for 17 years. They have a small fellowship and four gorgeous kids between the ages of 5 and 12 (who are in the public schools and speak fluent Polish!) and were in much need of encouragement and refreshment- something our team, with youthful energy, a variety of amusing senses of humour and most importantly a heart to serve, were sure to provide.

The week was absolutely packed; we had three nights of ‘english clubs’, (free English lessons open to the public), three afternoons of kids VBS (crazy games, bible stories, crafts) and four mornings of going into colleges or highschool’s to teach English and share a gospel drama, looking for the Lord to establish friendships and open conversations. When we weren’t doing ministry we were walking to and from our destinations (at least 2 hours a day) or preparing crafts for the next day into the late hours of the night. For the week I earned the nickname “crafts” for my creative ideas and “betty crocker” because, well as you know I’m pretty at home in the kitchen. That was fun because I’d missed cooking being at the college, and I was able to serve the team in that way.

We were also able to do some touristy things, like visiting an old city with cobblestone streets and a ruined castle, and sampling the Polish cuisine (really yummy, alot of potato based foods and beetroot soup). It was non-stop, but I think I enjoyed every minute- even when I was sick for the latter half of the week and all but lost my voice.

God was so faithful in giving us his strength and answering prayer- it was an amazing team, very caring of each other and unified. When we were weak we resorted to laughter to carry us through, in fact I think I laughed more on the trip than the entire semester before that! I learnt so much too about letting God be in control of the results, and not striving in my flesh but letting God love people through me. I really believe I saw people respond to this light that was in the midst of our group, which was Jesus in us.

Some of the coolest parts about the trip were the relationships we formed- firstly with the Kulah family, and then particularly with a girl named Paulina who spent a large majority of the week with us after meeting us the second day. She was a Catholic definitely being drawn to a more full relationship with Jesus Christ, so we loved her and tried to give her a taste of Koinania- real Christian fellowship. The last night we had a ‘coffee house’ outreach/testimony night, which a few of the students we had met during the week came along to. It was really great, a lot of fun and I believe God spoke into the hearts of those who came along.

So that’s the general overview! Since getting back its been full on homework, especially this last week. Right now I have another cold, I should’ve probably have spent the last couple days in bed but had major assignments I had to finish so I’ve been pushing my body to the max...

I’ve been up to my old video editing habits, which has been the most draining assignment of the week but the most rewarding...a group assignment where we ended up filming the story of Solomon and the Shulamite from Song of Songs....with my friends Agi and Miranda, yes two girls, one with a boy wig on....needless to say we had the whole school in rapturous laughter, and my teacher Phil was more than impressed (as well as shocked, surprised and amused all at the same time). So it’s been as much as its left me drained. I’m looking forward to a very relaxed weekend.

But then I have to think about packing up, and moving on! The exciting news is the Lord has opened a door for me to serve at a church in Germany for the first month of summer break. I’ll be doing all sorts of things there including helping with the kids ministry, practical stuff like painting and organising, babysitting, and whatever other ways I can serve. Please pray for all the plans for that to be finalised this week, especially with housing. For restored health, and for God to prepare my heart and go before in all aspects.

I miss you all in Aus and pray your hearts would be directed more and more into the love of Christ. He is the only source of living water!

Seretlek! That’s Hungarian for I love you!

PS. See my facebook page for a video footage of my Poland trip, plus my Wisdom Lit project

Poland Outreach in 100 words

Travel. Bus. Slovakia mountains beautiful. Windy roads. Krakow late. Radom later. Fifth floor Kasia’s apartment. Kulah family. Playful kids. Home fellowship, memories. Walking. Biedronka supermarket. Sunny parks. Keshimere, castle ruins, rain, hiking, lunch pizza & Pierogi. Team unity. Encouragement. English club. Skits. Laughter. English classes. Introductions, game, gospel drama. Shining Jesus. Sore throat. Kids festival. Three legged racing. Creation. Craft. Translation. Marshmallows. Fun. Love. Prayer for strength. Cardboard crosses/arks. Tired laughter. Betty Crocker. Crazy weather. Gods power, 3pm clouds vanish. Exhastion. Grilled Kebasa. Gods Provision. Highschools. Talking. Walking street. Restuarant, yummy. Coffee house. Testimonies. Simply Jesus. Goodbyes. Hugs. Sadness. Bus. Home.

That summaries my 8 day trip to Poland. If you cant tell from that I did have an awesome time! Thanks everyone for your prayers...stay tuned for a more detailed account and photos. Ive got two and a half weeks left of school which will be very busy, so please pray for good time management!

Love you all,

Jemma

From snow-falls to sun-beams

Joy of all joys! Spring has well and truly sprung! The air is warm and sweet-smelling, beckoning me to spend every breath of this day outside. Pity of all pities, my laptop screen reflects the bright sky-blue and I have to squint to read the words I’m typing. And before long my battery will start blinking and alas the indoor conveniences of electricity and a roof over my head will pull me away and indoors. But for now I will enjoy the moment, and update this running account of my life in Hungary.

Since my mind is allegorically inclined, I will start by saying this. The snow may have been beautiful, but it was foreign, there was an uncertainty about it. Over time it proved to represent new beauty waiting to be experienced and walked in. That is how I began my time here. The warmness of spring brings a comfort and familiarity which could be likened to the calmness of heart, the warmth of intimacy with the Lord as I spend my time here in His Word. The Lord has been ever faithful to lift my spirits, just as the simple act of stepping outside and feeling the sun of my face seems to make the spirits rise above the clouds.

I don’t know if I have spoke about it before, but contentment has been a lesson I have learnt this year. Contentment is the ability to be satisfied with our present state. It is more than not wanting anything else, it is wanting what you do have. This comes by understanding the utter sovereignty and goodness of God. It is trusting where He places us and what He allows, to the point where I rejoice in it because I know it is surely the best thing possible for me. Paul said ‘I have learned to be content’. Now it may be easy for me to sit on the grassy slopes of a castle garden in Europe and say that,I know I haven’t experienced an ounce of what Paul went through. But lessons such as this are important bedrock to lay for when the big trials come. I trust through the strength of the Lord I will remember and hold on, and my trust in God will only grow more firm through endurance.

All trials big or small are producing in me perseverance, and perseverance character, and character hope. (Romans 5:3) This hope we have as an anchor for the soul, both sure and steadfast. (Hebrew 6:19)

So spring for me is a reflection of this contentment. It is also representative of my new depth of trust in my good shepherd, who makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters. Ive been thinking a lot about how much I have complicated and been flustered and frustrated about the ‘discovery of Gods will’ in the past. ‘Am i doing what God wants? What if I miss his plan?’ So many scripture I’ve always held firm to...Proverbs 3:3-5, the promise ‘he will make your paths straight’ has a beautiful simplicity to it that I’ve somehow never quite rested in. But I’m beginning to see that if our eyes are one Jesus, if we make it our aim to be close to Him, we will find His will. God has this way of using our circumstances, coupled with our God-implanted desires and that still small voice, to get us right to the place He wants us, without us even noticing how we got there. We can walk in confidence in the thing that is most clear for us to do, in prayer, and if we are straying trust that God will close doors. And He did that for Paul twice, before giving Him the vision to go to Macedonia. But Paul is never rebuked or looked down upon for making a wrong choice. It was God’s divine hand the whole way. The key is just to be in that place of willingness to go anywhere and do anything. That’s really the hard part, to let him take the wheel. But if we understand God’s character, that He is good, He is wise, He is the Father that loves us and knows what is best, that He will be gentle with us...this is an easy transfer to make. So a rest has come upon me in that area, which is wonderful. I would still covet your prayers about direction for this summer; I’m looking for a door to open for me, a place or ministry to serve on my individual 30-day trip, and then wisdom for the other couple months and next semester.

That’s all I really have to share this time, other than I am loving my classes and assignments. I haven’t any trips coming up, so the weeks are more relaxed and the weekends very relaxed. I’m enjoying the extra time to go for walks and write emails and blogs and such. So life is good. I would love to hear what’s happening in any of your lives, please email or tell me a time to skype!

Much love and prayers your way, Jemma.

For we are His poiēma

Okay, so my blog needs some serious updating. Since writing I have gone to and from two different countries, involving quite a few cool ministry opportunities and exposure to Gods work therein. But something more radical than those trips has been happening here at the castle. They call it ‘speakers week’, where we forgo the regular schedule, the castle is filled up with guests- missionaries, past students and members from surrounding churches- and have three sessions a day where we hear from guest pastors. It’s a totally different atmosphere, more of a ‘conference’ type of thing and God is really using it to seal and confirm and make clear everything He’s been teaching me thus far this semester.

In an early blog I think I wrote about coming here being like a brand new chapter or even a new book in my life. I saw a blank page before me, ready for the Lord to write on. I think the first chapter of this new book is complete. And I would call it ‘learning to trust the good shepherd’. Let me explain.

The first day of this speakers week, Monday, was one of those ones where you get to the end and say ‘God you’re so funny sometimes’. I had got back from Serbia the night before at 11:15pm. Serbia was a great trip; we got involved in a Calvary Chapel there, attending the home fellowships, cleaning the church building from top to bottom and helping with the children’s ministry. I realised again how much I love being God’s hands and feet, and felt he especially used me in the life of one or two of the girls who I had great conversations with (they spoke English). Turns out all the bible study and teaching I’m getting here at college is sticking in my brain, I found myself saying ‘at school we looked at this passage, and at school we talked about this...’ which was really cool. I guess it was fairly exhausting though, because Monday I woke up with some nice dark rims under the eyes.

So the morning sessions begin and it was some great worship and teaching, I can sense this is going to be a very good week indeed. After lunch I sit and do a bit of homework or something, then at three my Hungarian dorm roomie Niki says she is going to play basketball and asks whether I want to play. The weather had been looking rather nice outside all day and I knew I could use the fresh air and it might be nice to run around a bit and bond with Niki....so I’m like ‘why not’.

As we head over to the court I see a very serious group of guys, including all the pastors and other buff basketball players warming up. Niki’s like ‘looks like we’re the only girls!’. I hadn’t even changed out of my jeans and im thinking ‘ive barely played basketball in my life’! So i say ‘maybe i’ll just watch’ but she’s like ‘no, come on, you can play!’ and not wanting to leave her as the only girl I’m like ‘okay’! And before I know it Pastor Jeremy or someone puts me in a team, and i think ‘well I’ll stay away from the ball and call it ‘active watching’’. So I’m running back and forth doing my best to keep the ball off both Niki and myself when ‘wham’. My head crashes into the head of Jo Fishers and I struggle to blink away the urge to faint or cry. Today is Friday and I still have a faint yellowish spot next to my left eye, but disappointingly it never did come out in purples and greens like a good bruise ought to.

With my vision rapidly blurring I retire from my short-lived rising basketball career and go lie down, my head now beginning to pound. I definitely see the funny side of all this, but the longer I lie the longer I think ‘this isn’t how speakers week is meant to be, how am I meant to listen and be fully receptive to the Lord when I’m tired and my head is now aching?!’

Once my vision stops blurring I get up and struggle through my bathroom cleaning duties, eat dinner, do a final proof read and submit a major assignment, and then spend some time on facebook catching up on weekend news, remembering again how much I miss my friends and family. So tired, head hurting and with a lingering pang of homesickness I come into worship and much to my suprise experience one of those moments where every line of every song becomes a heart cry and I’m saying ‘God you are worth it all, and I’m going to trust you and surrender again’.

The speaker that night was a man named Mark Walsh, one of the founders of this school who recently moved to New Zealand of all places to start up a sister bible school. So he was sharing about his trials of making the step of faith and pioneering a work ‘on the other side of the world’. It hasn’t been easy for him and His family to say the least. He shared the lessons God has taught Him especially out of Psalm 23 and He seemed to say everything God has been showing me this semester so far! Firstly, that the Lord wants me to trust in his character before I can trust in His work. I have been learning so much simply about who God is, and seeing that God wants people who are ‘after his heart’ like David. Who desire firstly to know Him and secondly to serve Him. Contrary to my initial thoughts God does not have me here to give me a task and send me out but it’s to draw me into deeper fellowship with Him. I’ve found as we discover more about Gods character; that He is good, wise, gentle with us, merciful, that He has a Fathers heart towards us, that He is a good shepherd (and the root word to shepherd is ‘friend’!)...we are able much more to trust him and rest in Him. In Psalm 23 God reveals himself as the shepherd; one who cares for, tends, is a friend to the sheep, and also leads the sheep. The word ‘lead’ here speaks of the manner of leading -“with gentleness and care”. God spoke powerfully to me as I was listening this Monday night that I could trust the leading of my friend the shepherd, who makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters. I could not contain the overflow of emotion as I responded to the invitation to go forward and receive prayer, and it was evident the Holy Spirit had not only touched my heart but many others around me. I went to bed that night thinking how God had used my weak state to make my heart soft, and I uttered those words ‘God you are so funny sometimes’.

I would have been happy if ‘speakers week’ had just been that ‘speakers day’, but no, the teaching and wonderful worship continued for the next four days! Wow, do I have a lot to think about over the weekend (I am happily NOT going on any trips this time!)! I would probably say it’s been my favourite week so far, but only because it’s built off the first 5 weeks. It has sealed and topped off an awesome beginning to this year. I feel it’s the completion of the first chapter- from the initial trials of adjusting to life away from Australia, having to build new friendships, to the missions trips and ponderings about what God might possibly have in store for me, to the realisation I don’t have to worry about the future but simply focus on learning about Jesus, praising Him for what He has done and what He is doing.

My final thoughts are as follows; there is such freedom as a child of God. Freedom to fail, freedom to learn and grow, freedom to ask and question. The nature of grace is that all things are freely and undeservedly given to me- I don’t actually owe God anything. It feels like I do, and I can work myself up into a frenzy of what I am or am not “doing” for God, and what should I do for God? But we were not saved to be bound up and tied around our works. We were saved to walk in freedom! To enjoy Gods undeserved kindness, which doesn’t change based on our actions. In the end I can be confident “the Lord will perfect that which concerns me” Psalm 138:8 (thanks Brooke, I actually read and write down this scripture about 3 days before you sent it!) and ‘He who has begun a good work in me will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ’ Philip. 1:6

If you want to watch or listen to any of the teachings from this week check out http://web.ccbce.com/ext/media/speakers_week_spring_2010/

A culture-packed weekend!

Wednesday 3^rd March

I have been meaning to blog for the last few days but it is rather hard to find a spare hour around here without either getting up really early or staying up late...both have consequence on body, mind and emotions, and I’ve been frequenting both. Tonight it is going to be one of the late ones, since I am “dying to share” (to use a Hannah-exaggeration) about my weekend in Budapest. But I will try to be brief and perhaps let some photos fill in details.

First to tell you about two girls I’ve gotten to know here. Esther is my friend from South Korea, a small petite and beautiful Asian who has been grappling with taking classes in English when she has only a limited grasp on the English language. She has been a delight to know, frequenting visits to our dorm with a “Jemma, i didn’t understand!” but always smiling and playfully teasing.

EnLi is a chinese girl who has lived with her family in Budapest since she was 10, but attended an English school so speaks all three languages well. She is a tonne of fun.

So it was with these two I boarded a train Friday around lunchtime on route to Budapest. The weather was cold and rainy so it was no good for sightseeing, all the same it was exciting to be out of the castle with a whole weekend in front of me.

Esther has an Aunt and Uncle who live in Budapest, so I was to stay at their house. They were a wonderful couple, they’ve been missionaries in the city for many years working with the homeless inside the subway stations. Esther and I went to meet them after getting off our train. I just marvelled at these smiling Koreans singing worship and preaching in Hungarian to quite a receptive group of homeless folk. I got to help serve out the food, not being able to do much more than smile and nod. God told me ‘that’s all I require of you tonight, just smile and bring my love and presence’.
But wow, I can’t imagine the life those Korean missionaries live, spending most their time cooking and preparing messages for their ‘church’ meetings.

Saturday and Sunday were spent mostly hanging out with a group of Chinese young people, EnLi’s youth group. So I switched gear from learning more about Korean language, culture, food at Esthers, to Chinese (Yes, all in the middle of a European city).We participated in bible studies and worship and some meals (Sunday lunch we made dumplings from scratch, and they were delicious) and even though i couldn’t really understand the chatter, it was a lot of fun. The events were run by a couple of American missionaries who are living in Budapest specifically to minister to the Chinese people, after they got kicked out of their mission work in china last year. The ‘dumpling party’ was at their house, so it was great to talk to them, hear their story and imagine being in their shoes!

Observing all these missionaries, I have been seeing that the sacrifices are very real; if sacrifice is even the appropriate word. The giving up of ordinary life in your home country, of family and friends and certain comforts would seem to any worldly person and many Christians the most ridiculous thing you can think of. I have seen that without a sheer conviction of the importance of the work you are doing those same thoughts would overtake you. ‘What am I achieving here?’ would be a big temptation to ask. I know I would have to be convinced God had called me and then learn to see things from an eternal perspective, from Gods view. How much is one soul worth?

It was nice to get back to the countryside Sunday evening, back to ‘home’ at the castle amidst the beautiful green grass and trees (spring is setting in, it’s as gorgeous as the snow was!).
It was definitely cool to see the city of Budapest- I was able to take some photos on the way to and from church (a very big, alive and well established Calvary Chapel) and the train ride out took me on a tour of the suburbs. Cute little coloured houses with thatched roofs. But I’m glad God placed me in the countryside. God is so alive in nature.

Believe it or not this weekend I’m joining an outreach team to Vienna, Austria and the following weekend to Serbia! Please pray for the different teams, for unity and strength in the Spirit. For the work we will do with the churches there and evangelism on the streets. And pray that I can manage time well. Taking a whole weekend out means I have to cram more into my week to get homework assignments and other duties done. Not to mention having time to process all I am learning through study and practically!! Thanks for all who are praying for me. God is truly upholding me and using this experience in more ways than I know.

Enjoy the photos and stay tuned for updates!

BELOW

Homeless ministry Esther and I on the piano on the far left, Esther is amazingly talented...I was back-up/moral support.

Keliti Train Station is an impressive big building.

The apartments where the american missionaries lives were so cute, very european.

Below: Central Budapest...note the golden arches....

Above: Chinese youth group + one korean, one australian and two americans.

EnLi, Esther and I enjoying our dumplings.....and no, I cannot use chopsticks well at all. The best method is to stab to food.

Jesus the great Physician

Well, it has been almost two weeks since my last post. I have wanted to write but actually have no idea where to start or what to tell, I still don’t for that matter. But I shall try, to keep you all updated and as a good way to process thoughts myself.

On the surface level, I could tell you that the last two weeks have been mostly studying. I have adjusted to a routine and have found what I believe to be a good balance between my homework, housework, spending time in fellowship and keeping in touch with friends and family back home. Oh, and trying to get outside for walks every now and then, for some fresh air and a dose of Gods beauty in nature. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen every day, but last Sunday I got to go for a long walk with a few girls. We walked along a path and through a sheep farm, then through snow two feet deep in places until we got to this canal. The sun was shining, it was so beautiful.

I did get out of Vajta (vai-ta) one day too, to go to the Visa office in a bigger city called Szekesfehervar (say-kesh-fe-hera-var, took me a while to learn that one!) which was fun, we got to go the supermarket and then in true tourist fashion, paid a visit to McDonalds for a cheeseburger. In case you were wondering it tasted much the same as the Australian version. Trust McDonalds to deliver.

I’ve been battling with a few bouts of sickness (not from the cheeseburger, but from living in such close proximity to dozens of other people) and yesterday I had to spend the entire day in bed with a funny tummy and pounding headache. I felt very loved and cared for though and was allowed the rest I needed, so that I woke up feeling a lot better today. Yes, the smile was back.

So now to attempt to describe what’s really going on here, underneath all that. Last night someone relayed the words of a pastor, saying ‘people think they are coming to a Bible College, but they find are actually coming to a hospital. Don’t worry, everyone here is in the hospital with you too.’ The fact is when you come to face the Word of God and really begin to dig into it, when you get to listen to teaching and spend hours meditating on the lessons God is showing you; it puts you on the operating table. It divides, even to the division of soul and spirit, joints and marrow. It diagnoses, exposes and leaves you with a heck of a lot to ponder about yourself! But most of all it heals, restores and makes whole.

That may sound drastic, but I only say it because I perhaps thought I would just be here to learn the bible better and discover my gifts and calling. And when the classes started I was thinking, wow this seems very academic, im not used to learning the bible this way. But what I have found is the emphasis of every class time, worship time, even the cleaning and the homework, the idea is that you draw closer to the Lord. That more of ‘self’ dies and more of Jesus comes in. The lesson of grace and God truly being such a good Father to us is impossible not to see. In a prideful way perhaps I did not expect this to be a time where I would be learning such basic lessons (basic perhaps but fundamental and also incomprehensible), but God has shown me so many areas I’ve allowed myself to think wrongly.

I can see so many reasons why the Lord had to pull me away from life in Australia and place me here in Hungary so I could move forward with Him. To be in a new place strips you away of reputation, something I’ve been shown I depend on far too much. Reputation is based on how others perceive you, and you always have to strive to keep it ‘good’. The problem is this enslaves you to always be performing your best behaviour for the sake of others, when the only one we should seek to please is our heavenly Father. And even then, He does not need to be pleased, He is set on loving us despite our behaviour, and any purity of behaviour comes from knowing His love and walking by His spirit. Worse still, reputation enslaves you to perform what the world considers ‘good behaviour’, which may not match up to our calling as believers in Jesus Christ.

So anyway, in a new country I can’t be defined anymore by how others perceive me because no-one knows me here yet! And so I am forced to ask- where was my comfort and joy coming from? From my acceptance by my group of friends? From my accomplishment as a Bakers Delight girl, or being a good daughter? Being the ‘wise’ friend or older sister? Or can I find all my joy, fulfilment, sense of peace and belonging purely by knowing I am a beloved child of God? The fact that God knows who I am deep down, and that He understands me to the uttermost has been an incredible source of comfort since I’ve been here. He has said to me in His love ‘you don’t need to try and be anyone or anything to anyone here. You don’t have to be anything or anyone to Me. I know you the way you are, I know you are just merely dust, I love you the way you are. Just be here and know Me’.

I’ve been digging through the book of Matthew, and it is amazing to see how much Jesus taught ‘do NOT be like the scribes and Pharisees.’ It is definitely worth pondering why they were so evil and wrong in their thinking. In short they cared only how they appeared outwardly, they had no longing for God or love or fear of God. Yet the disciples were the most foolish of men at times, and these are the ones Jesus held dear. And right now I’m in the middle of the story of the cross, and I find myself in disbelief again that Jesus ‘made himself of no reputation’...he was mocked, they put a robe and crown of thorns on Him and bowed down mockingly saying ‘hail, King of the Jews’. This pains me enough to see my King in this position. How must Jesus have felt, from where He came to this? But he was willing to be literally nothing because he knew his honour and identity was fixed firmly in heaven. His Father saw, and knew, and that was enough. Does that not blow your mind?

I think that explains in a small way some things the Lords been teaching me. So much more too, I could talk forever about the book of Ecclesiastes....wow. But I’ll refrain, at least this time.

I want to sign out with a quote from a book I am reading by A.W. Tozer, called ‘Knowledge of the Holy’. He prays:

‘Oh Majesty unspeakable, my soul desires to behold Thee. I cry to thee from the dust. Yet when I inquire after Thy name it is a secret. Thou art hidden in light which no man can approach unto. What Thou art, cannot be thought or uttered, for Thy glory is ineffable.
Still, prophet and psalmist, apostle and saint have encouraged me to believe that I may in some measure know Thee. Therefore, I pray, whatever of thyself Thou hast been pleased to disclose, help me search out as treasure more precious than rubies or the merchandise of fine gold: for with Thee I shall live when the stars of the twilight are no more and the heavens have vanished away and only thou remainest. Amen.’

From sunshine to snowfalls

Feb 7th 2010

As I look out the window, the delicate snowflake after snowflake floating down like icing sugar to coat the world in white, I can barely believe how much change my life has undergone in the last week and a half. From a new country and entirely different climate, a new living arrangement, new people, to new priorities and a new way of studying the book I have always cherished dearly. Some (like my wonderful mother) thrive on this kind of change and relish every moment. Some would rather be nailed to a dining room chair then envision such an upheaval (here is where I mention my wonderful father, though I believe the Lord is growing him in this area so I won’t be too hasty to name-drop). I’m trying to think of a good analogy that sums up how I have felt, and it is perhaps like a child jumping into the deep end of a pool. The excitement and daringness of the jump is exhilarating, but scary at the same time. The deep water is so much fun to wade in, there’s room to do somersaults and swim around and anything you can imagine really. But at times you wish could just feel the bottom. At the same time you know the shallow end where you can feel the bottom is boring and too easy, so you would rather be here. After kicking for a while you see the sides to hang onto, for brief moments of regaining strength, but still the best place to be is playing in the cool blue deep water.

If you can follow my line of thinking here you will begin to imagine what it is like for me. I love it. It’s exhilarating, new, scary, fun, with limitless possibility.
There are times I wish my feet would find the bottom; we as people love to be reassured and secure, that’s why so many resort an attitude along the lines of ‘the only person I can trust and depend on is myself’. The problem is we only have limited strength within ourselves. The one I trust in is limitless; in his strength, in his wisdom, in his love. Also, wanting to have our feet touching seems to be a reason that a lot of Christians stay in church pews instead of venturing out. But then we lose the opportunity to experience the limitless one and never really grow in our faith. So I am content to wade, this is the faith venture God has called me to. I am to wade and trust that He is there, looking after me. If I start relying on my own strength and finding security in other things I’ll drown. The Lord however has been good in providing the sides for me to grab so I can regain strength from time to time; these I see as my fellow Christians here who are becoming my family- a moment of sharing, an encouraging word, a prayer, a time of worship, an amazing class where I say to myself ‘why would I want to be anywhere else?’.

Yes, perhaps the most exciting part is the opportunity to hear great bible teaching every day. Then being made to delve in deeper through the assignments- it is like how much water can a sponge actually soak in? And can I squeeze out the lessons into my brain bucket before next week begins? And then how much can I pour from my brain bucket into my heart tank in order to water my soul and produce fruit for the kingdom?

The next most exciting thing is seeing what the Lord will do with that fruit. To go back to my swimming pool, there is endless possibility for diving and somersaulting and swimming. Firstly, within the walls of this castle, in serving one another and using our different gifts and talents. And secondly in reaching out beyond.

Friday I had the opportunity to be a part of a team visiting a young missionary couple in a city called Dunaujvaros. I felt incredibly blessed to meet them; they were filled with love and passion for the Lord and the city they were living in, it showed in their smiles and the things they shared about life there. The best thing was we were able to come alongside them and bless them. We went for a walk along a frozen section of the Danube river and simply prayed in pairs for the city, which is a hard and dark place thanks to a past of communist rule and then an infiltration of the JW’s and Mormon groups once that rule collapsed. The church there is viewed with suspicion and caution. But there are a few faithful, who joined us that night as we went into an upper class coffee shop where they had reserved a spot for us to sit, enjoy coffee and dessert and the best part; play worship music . So it was a really great visit. We may not ever see the effects of our prayer or of our light shining in that cafe. But these things are eternal matters, and we trust in a mighty God!

That just about wraps up the last few days! May God bless you and speak to you in whatever circumstance you find yourself in. Love, Jemma.

New friends and life in Narnia..I mean Vajta =)

Trusting in the Lord

Feb 2nd

One of the best and most important things is to be sure that we are walking in the centre of God’s will. I have learnt over the past few years that if you are unsure or doubtful that you are where God wants you then it’s time to seriously pray and seek his direction. It is okay to be in this place of seeking, but we have to labour in it until he directs, confirms, and gives us that assurance.
For there will come times in our lives when the best thing we have to hang onto is “God, I know this is the place you want me, so i’m choosing to trust you.” And then to let that bring peace into our hearts.

The first few days here have been great, but not without doubts and times when i’ve had to surrender again to the Lords purposes for me. I feel like I am on the verge of a whole new chapter in my Christian walk, maybe even a whole new book. Like everything I have learnt and achieved in my walk so far, all the strengths I perceived that I have, now belong on the shelf. I can’t fall back on it, I can’t walk in it...not that it means nothing now, but I have become a blank page for the Lord to write on. Pastor Caleb illustrated in my first class yesterday that if we come to the Lord with a cup which is full, and He tries to pour in, then nothing will be added and the water will just spill out. Instead we want to come with an empty cup, completely willing and ready for the Lord to fill us, teach us, grow us. So that’s how I’m feeling right now.
Every lesson- be it servant heartedness, loving others, loving the Lord, listening to the Spirit, stewardship etc. etc. is going to be learned afresh this year. I want the Lord to use this time of being away from friends, work, movies, and other distractions to renew my mind.
I’m getting quite philosophical so I’m hoping this is making some sense. This is as much for my own sanity as well as sharing my heart so you know how to pray for me.

So on a more practical level, things you can pray that I trust the Lord in are things like my school work- it has been a challenge getting back in the mindset of having a timetable, classes, assignments with due dates, having to organise and prioritise my time so I make the most out of the 169 hours a week. On one hand I want to run back to the easy life of work, then socialising and voluntarily studying the bible when it was most convenient and enjoyable. On the other hand I am excited for the challenge, and know deep down I would far prefer to be here. Our mind and our flesh are good at trying to look back and live in the good times of the past, quickly forgetting that those times had their own set of challenges. Once again, it comes down to trusting the Lord has me where he wants me.
What’s more is as a missionary training (MTP) student I really want to be not filling up my brain with academic knowledge but learning how to put God’s word into practice, and listening for His guidance and direction. They expect us MTPs to be the heartbeat of love and servant hood in the school here. So I dont want to get too caught up in assignments and getting a good grade, that I lose the 'applying' of scripture and the practical ways I love the other students on campus. And above all I want to cultivate that relationship with Jesus, rather than just the knowledge of Jesus.

This Friday will be our first outreach opportunity, in a nearby city helping a church plant get their name out onto the streets. Do I feel prepared for such a venture- not at all! But I am a blank page ready for the Lord to form and fold and put to use. Placing my trust in Him. So theres some prayer requests and updates.
Thank you for those who have emailed or facebooked with encouragements, and for those praying. I really appreciate you guys!

Much Love, Jemma

A new home

Friday 29^th January

Surreal would be a good word to describe the last day and a half. It hasn’t actually set in that this massive castle of hallways and stairwells and couches will be my home for the next year. And that the lovely people I am stuggling to remember all the names of will soon be as familiar as my sisters and brothers. My ‘just one day at a time’ mentality is still proving most effective in coping with change, I don’t know what to expect or what the Lord will do but I am assured by Him it will be great. There is a verse that has been used many times in my walk so far to reassure me, and of course as a ‘welcome verse’ I was handed a little card with Isaiah 26:3 on it: “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you”. Okay Lord, I’m going to keep trusting.

Anyway, to update you a little, my luggage and I arrived safe and sound in Budapest. Airports, along with airplanes, are a modern wonder. It is simply incredible how they co-ordinate that many people and planes and bags internationally. I guess I should give some praise to God too, all the prayers for safe and smooth travel were perfectly answered!

Oh yes, it is cold. But I love the snow. When I arrived in Zurich before hopping on the plane to Budapest it was actually snowing, so beautifully. Rain falls to the ground, but snow dances; sometimes softly and gently, sometimes hurriedly and excitedly, but it’s so pretty. I looked out the plane window, and stuck to it were actual tiny snowflakes, just like the paper cut-outs we made when we were kids. It is again, surreal, to wake up in a place and look out the window to see bright dazzling whiteness. Today we went for a walk through the tiny village of Vajta, I look around and seriously have to pinch myself that I’m actually here. And then we played Ultimate Frisbee in the snow- so much fun! But i was like, guys two weeks ago I was playing this at the beach in the hot sand!

Meeting everyone has been good, but of course relationships are a slow process. I’ve had some good times of sharing with the girls in my dorm- Lydia, Katie and Niki (a fourth named En Li is yet to arrive) and I love thinking about the fact that God’s hand specifically chose us to be together. About a third of the girls here are Hungarians, which is so cool, we really are all one in Christ. And girls are girls no matter what country you are from. So I’m looking forward to getting to know people better and growing and serving with them. But yes, it has begun to set in how much I will miss my Aussie friends. What a precious family of believers I have back at Aldgate.

This weekend will be registration and orientation, then classes start on Monday. I’ve been told to strap myself in because it is going to be full-on and time will fly by. I can’t wait! Right now I am rubbing my eyes, seriously jet-lagging, so thinking I might sign off and have another early night.

Much love,
Jemma