From snow-falls to sun-beams

Joy of all joys! Spring has well and truly sprung! The air is warm and sweet-smelling, beckoning me to spend every breath of this day outside. Pity of all pities, my laptop screen reflects the bright sky-blue and I have to squint to read the words I’m typing. And before long my battery will start blinking and alas the indoor conveniences of electricity and a roof over my head will pull me away and indoors. But for now I will enjoy the moment, and update this running account of my life in Hungary.

Since my mind is allegorically inclined, I will start by saying this. The snow may have been beautiful, but it was foreign, there was an uncertainty about it. Over time it proved to represent new beauty waiting to be experienced and walked in. That is how I began my time here. The warmness of spring brings a comfort and familiarity which could be likened to the calmness of heart, the warmth of intimacy with the Lord as I spend my time here in His Word. The Lord has been ever faithful to lift my spirits, just as the simple act of stepping outside and feeling the sun of my face seems to make the spirits rise above the clouds.

I don’t know if I have spoke about it before, but contentment has been a lesson I have learnt this year. Contentment is the ability to be satisfied with our present state. It is more than not wanting anything else, it is wanting what you do have. This comes by understanding the utter sovereignty and goodness of God. It is trusting where He places us and what He allows, to the point where I rejoice in it because I know it is surely the best thing possible for me. Paul said ‘I have learned to be content’. Now it may be easy for me to sit on the grassy slopes of a castle garden in Europe and say that,I know I haven’t experienced an ounce of what Paul went through. But lessons such as this are important bedrock to lay for when the big trials come. I trust through the strength of the Lord I will remember and hold on, and my trust in God will only grow more firm through endurance.

All trials big or small are producing in me perseverance, and perseverance character, and character hope. (Romans 5:3) This hope we have as an anchor for the soul, both sure and steadfast. (Hebrew 6:19)

So spring for me is a reflection of this contentment. It is also representative of my new depth of trust in my good shepherd, who makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters. Ive been thinking a lot about how much I have complicated and been flustered and frustrated about the ‘discovery of Gods will’ in the past. ‘Am i doing what God wants? What if I miss his plan?’ So many scripture I’ve always held firm to...Proverbs 3:3-5, the promise ‘he will make your paths straight’ has a beautiful simplicity to it that I’ve somehow never quite rested in. But I’m beginning to see that if our eyes are one Jesus, if we make it our aim to be close to Him, we will find His will. God has this way of using our circumstances, coupled with our God-implanted desires and that still small voice, to get us right to the place He wants us, without us even noticing how we got there. We can walk in confidence in the thing that is most clear for us to do, in prayer, and if we are straying trust that God will close doors. And He did that for Paul twice, before giving Him the vision to go to Macedonia. But Paul is never rebuked or looked down upon for making a wrong choice. It was God’s divine hand the whole way. The key is just to be in that place of willingness to go anywhere and do anything. That’s really the hard part, to let him take the wheel. But if we understand God’s character, that He is good, He is wise, He is the Father that loves us and knows what is best, that He will be gentle with us...this is an easy transfer to make. So a rest has come upon me in that area, which is wonderful. I would still covet your prayers about direction for this summer; I’m looking for a door to open for me, a place or ministry to serve on my individual 30-day trip, and then wisdom for the other couple months and next semester.

That’s all I really have to share this time, other than I am loving my classes and assignments. I haven’t any trips coming up, so the weeks are more relaxed and the weekends very relaxed. I’m enjoying the extra time to go for walks and write emails and blogs and such. So life is good. I would love to hear what’s happening in any of your lives, please email or tell me a time to skype!

Much love and prayers your way, Jemma.

For we are His poiēma

Okay, so my blog needs some serious updating. Since writing I have gone to and from two different countries, involving quite a few cool ministry opportunities and exposure to Gods work therein. But something more radical than those trips has been happening here at the castle. They call it ‘speakers week’, where we forgo the regular schedule, the castle is filled up with guests- missionaries, past students and members from surrounding churches- and have three sessions a day where we hear from guest pastors. It’s a totally different atmosphere, more of a ‘conference’ type of thing and God is really using it to seal and confirm and make clear everything He’s been teaching me thus far this semester.

In an early blog I think I wrote about coming here being like a brand new chapter or even a new book in my life. I saw a blank page before me, ready for the Lord to write on. I think the first chapter of this new book is complete. And I would call it ‘learning to trust the good shepherd’. Let me explain.

The first day of this speakers week, Monday, was one of those ones where you get to the end and say ‘God you’re so funny sometimes’. I had got back from Serbia the night before at 11:15pm. Serbia was a great trip; we got involved in a Calvary Chapel there, attending the home fellowships, cleaning the church building from top to bottom and helping with the children’s ministry. I realised again how much I love being God’s hands and feet, and felt he especially used me in the life of one or two of the girls who I had great conversations with (they spoke English). Turns out all the bible study and teaching I’m getting here at college is sticking in my brain, I found myself saying ‘at school we looked at this passage, and at school we talked about this...’ which was really cool. I guess it was fairly exhausting though, because Monday I woke up with some nice dark rims under the eyes.

So the morning sessions begin and it was some great worship and teaching, I can sense this is going to be a very good week indeed. After lunch I sit and do a bit of homework or something, then at three my Hungarian dorm roomie Niki says she is going to play basketball and asks whether I want to play. The weather had been looking rather nice outside all day and I knew I could use the fresh air and it might be nice to run around a bit and bond with Niki....so I’m like ‘why not’.

As we head over to the court I see a very serious group of guys, including all the pastors and other buff basketball players warming up. Niki’s like ‘looks like we’re the only girls!’. I hadn’t even changed out of my jeans and im thinking ‘ive barely played basketball in my life’! So i say ‘maybe i’ll just watch’ but she’s like ‘no, come on, you can play!’ and not wanting to leave her as the only girl I’m like ‘okay’! And before I know it Pastor Jeremy or someone puts me in a team, and i think ‘well I’ll stay away from the ball and call it ‘active watching’’. So I’m running back and forth doing my best to keep the ball off both Niki and myself when ‘wham’. My head crashes into the head of Jo Fishers and I struggle to blink away the urge to faint or cry. Today is Friday and I still have a faint yellowish spot next to my left eye, but disappointingly it never did come out in purples and greens like a good bruise ought to.

With my vision rapidly blurring I retire from my short-lived rising basketball career and go lie down, my head now beginning to pound. I definitely see the funny side of all this, but the longer I lie the longer I think ‘this isn’t how speakers week is meant to be, how am I meant to listen and be fully receptive to the Lord when I’m tired and my head is now aching?!’

Once my vision stops blurring I get up and struggle through my bathroom cleaning duties, eat dinner, do a final proof read and submit a major assignment, and then spend some time on facebook catching up on weekend news, remembering again how much I miss my friends and family. So tired, head hurting and with a lingering pang of homesickness I come into worship and much to my suprise experience one of those moments where every line of every song becomes a heart cry and I’m saying ‘God you are worth it all, and I’m going to trust you and surrender again’.

The speaker that night was a man named Mark Walsh, one of the founders of this school who recently moved to New Zealand of all places to start up a sister bible school. So he was sharing about his trials of making the step of faith and pioneering a work ‘on the other side of the world’. It hasn’t been easy for him and His family to say the least. He shared the lessons God has taught Him especially out of Psalm 23 and He seemed to say everything God has been showing me this semester so far! Firstly, that the Lord wants me to trust in his character before I can trust in His work. I have been learning so much simply about who God is, and seeing that God wants people who are ‘after his heart’ like David. Who desire firstly to know Him and secondly to serve Him. Contrary to my initial thoughts God does not have me here to give me a task and send me out but it’s to draw me into deeper fellowship with Him. I’ve found as we discover more about Gods character; that He is good, wise, gentle with us, merciful, that He has a Fathers heart towards us, that He is a good shepherd (and the root word to shepherd is ‘friend’!)...we are able much more to trust him and rest in Him. In Psalm 23 God reveals himself as the shepherd; one who cares for, tends, is a friend to the sheep, and also leads the sheep. The word ‘lead’ here speaks of the manner of leading -“with gentleness and care”. God spoke powerfully to me as I was listening this Monday night that I could trust the leading of my friend the shepherd, who makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters. I could not contain the overflow of emotion as I responded to the invitation to go forward and receive prayer, and it was evident the Holy Spirit had not only touched my heart but many others around me. I went to bed that night thinking how God had used my weak state to make my heart soft, and I uttered those words ‘God you are so funny sometimes’.

I would have been happy if ‘speakers week’ had just been that ‘speakers day’, but no, the teaching and wonderful worship continued for the next four days! Wow, do I have a lot to think about over the weekend (I am happily NOT going on any trips this time!)! I would probably say it’s been my favourite week so far, but only because it’s built off the first 5 weeks. It has sealed and topped off an awesome beginning to this year. I feel it’s the completion of the first chapter- from the initial trials of adjusting to life away from Australia, having to build new friendships, to the missions trips and ponderings about what God might possibly have in store for me, to the realisation I don’t have to worry about the future but simply focus on learning about Jesus, praising Him for what He has done and what He is doing.

My final thoughts are as follows; there is such freedom as a child of God. Freedom to fail, freedom to learn and grow, freedom to ask and question. The nature of grace is that all things are freely and undeservedly given to me- I don’t actually owe God anything. It feels like I do, and I can work myself up into a frenzy of what I am or am not “doing” for God, and what should I do for God? But we were not saved to be bound up and tied around our works. We were saved to walk in freedom! To enjoy Gods undeserved kindness, which doesn’t change based on our actions. In the end I can be confident “the Lord will perfect that which concerns me” Psalm 138:8 (thanks Brooke, I actually read and write down this scripture about 3 days before you sent it!) and ‘He who has begun a good work in me will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ’ Philip. 1:6

If you want to watch or listen to any of the teachings from this week check out http://web.ccbce.com/ext/media/speakers_week_spring_2010/

A culture-packed weekend!

Wednesday 3^rd March

I have been meaning to blog for the last few days but it is rather hard to find a spare hour around here without either getting up really early or staying up late...both have consequence on body, mind and emotions, and I’ve been frequenting both. Tonight it is going to be one of the late ones, since I am “dying to share” (to use a Hannah-exaggeration) about my weekend in Budapest. But I will try to be brief and perhaps let some photos fill in details.

First to tell you about two girls I’ve gotten to know here. Esther is my friend from South Korea, a small petite and beautiful Asian who has been grappling with taking classes in English when she has only a limited grasp on the English language. She has been a delight to know, frequenting visits to our dorm with a “Jemma, i didn’t understand!” but always smiling and playfully teasing.

EnLi is a chinese girl who has lived with her family in Budapest since she was 10, but attended an English school so speaks all three languages well. She is a tonne of fun.

So it was with these two I boarded a train Friday around lunchtime on route to Budapest. The weather was cold and rainy so it was no good for sightseeing, all the same it was exciting to be out of the castle with a whole weekend in front of me.

Esther has an Aunt and Uncle who live in Budapest, so I was to stay at their house. They were a wonderful couple, they’ve been missionaries in the city for many years working with the homeless inside the subway stations. Esther and I went to meet them after getting off our train. I just marvelled at these smiling Koreans singing worship and preaching in Hungarian to quite a receptive group of homeless folk. I got to help serve out the food, not being able to do much more than smile and nod. God told me ‘that’s all I require of you tonight, just smile and bring my love and presence’.
But wow, I can’t imagine the life those Korean missionaries live, spending most their time cooking and preparing messages for their ‘church’ meetings.

Saturday and Sunday were spent mostly hanging out with a group of Chinese young people, EnLi’s youth group. So I switched gear from learning more about Korean language, culture, food at Esthers, to Chinese (Yes, all in the middle of a European city).We participated in bible studies and worship and some meals (Sunday lunch we made dumplings from scratch, and they were delicious) and even though i couldn’t really understand the chatter, it was a lot of fun. The events were run by a couple of American missionaries who are living in Budapest specifically to minister to the Chinese people, after they got kicked out of their mission work in china last year. The ‘dumpling party’ was at their house, so it was great to talk to them, hear their story and imagine being in their shoes!

Observing all these missionaries, I have been seeing that the sacrifices are very real; if sacrifice is even the appropriate word. The giving up of ordinary life in your home country, of family and friends and certain comforts would seem to any worldly person and many Christians the most ridiculous thing you can think of. I have seen that without a sheer conviction of the importance of the work you are doing those same thoughts would overtake you. ‘What am I achieving here?’ would be a big temptation to ask. I know I would have to be convinced God had called me and then learn to see things from an eternal perspective, from Gods view. How much is one soul worth?

It was nice to get back to the countryside Sunday evening, back to ‘home’ at the castle amidst the beautiful green grass and trees (spring is setting in, it’s as gorgeous as the snow was!).
It was definitely cool to see the city of Budapest- I was able to take some photos on the way to and from church (a very big, alive and well established Calvary Chapel) and the train ride out took me on a tour of the suburbs. Cute little coloured houses with thatched roofs. But I’m glad God placed me in the countryside. God is so alive in nature.

Believe it or not this weekend I’m joining an outreach team to Vienna, Austria and the following weekend to Serbia! Please pray for the different teams, for unity and strength in the Spirit. For the work we will do with the churches there and evangelism on the streets. And pray that I can manage time well. Taking a whole weekend out means I have to cram more into my week to get homework assignments and other duties done. Not to mention having time to process all I am learning through study and practically!! Thanks for all who are praying for me. God is truly upholding me and using this experience in more ways than I know.

Enjoy the photos and stay tuned for updates!

BELOW

Homeless ministry Esther and I on the piano on the far left, Esther is amazingly talented...I was back-up/moral support.

Keliti Train Station is an impressive big building.

The apartments where the american missionaries lives were so cute, very european.

Below: Central Budapest...note the golden arches....

Above: Chinese youth group + one korean, one australian and two americans.

EnLi, Esther and I enjoying our dumplings.....and no, I cannot use chopsticks well at all. The best method is to stab to food.