Grace and Selflessness

Saturday 29th May 2010

Right now I am sitting in a spare-room-turned-bedroom of a third story apartment that a lovely couple is graciously letting me stay in for part of my time here in Germany. I often have to pinch myself at how blessed I am to be part of a world-wide family marked by selfless love that we call Christianity. More than having instant friends whichever country I travel to, I find people who treat me as family; Burkhard and Nellie are just one such example of the genuine love that allows me to feel so welcome into their homes and hearts, that I know I am not deserving of any of it, apart from believing it is all wrapped up in the grace offered by Jesus dying on the cross. Jesus endured God’s wrath so I could experience God’s grace, not just for one time but every single day I live! “The Lord is gracious in all His works” the bible tells us in Psalm 145. Every single thing He does is connected to the fact that He does not give us what we deserve but chooses to bless us beyond what we deserve!

How hard it is sometimes to believe that; we like to know we have earned and deserved the things we get. There can be a sense of guilt hanging over us or a burden to fulfil- but this can just be our pride. We need to be set free to receive. These are some of the thoughts I’ve been pondering while being here. I’m in Germany for one month for a mission-trip/experience, to see what God is doing here in Germany and be of service to the church and missionaries who live here. I’ve been able to help in various practical ways but it’s been more of a fun and relaxing time than anything. I love the people I have met here, the American family who started the church some years ago were hosting me these past two weeks and I’ve enjoyed their company immensely, as well as the rest of the church body. I have been thinking am I doing enough to warrant these people’s hospitality? But here is where we learn to trust in God’s plan. He has reasons for arranging for me to be specifically here, more than I can imagine, and I am certainly learning a lot! Observing the daily examples of those I’m staying with is teaching me a lot about married life and family life and church life.

The biggest thing I’m learning about it selflessness. As already mentioned I am learning about the line between accepting people’s kindness, and how to respond to it unselfishly. This involves gratitude. I must come to the place where I realise it is from God’s grace, that I don’t start saying in my heart “I spent my money on a ticket over here so I deserve this” but instead just let my heart be filled with gratefulness and thanks.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the example of Jesus. When He came to earth He (unlike me) actually had reason to demand people to serve Him. But He did not! The bible tells us he “did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many”. That is a radical example for us to follow! This has been my standard- I don’t always reach it because of that thing called ‘flesh’ and ‘self’ but I am trying to just have a willing heart to serve in whatever way, shape or form. Anytime I’m called on, ‘in season and out of season’.

We think of selflessness often in terms of putting other people before us, which is correct. But the thing I’m really learning too is selflessness is most importantly laying aside our need/want to rule ourselves in order to let God rule us. In my first week here I started missing Australia a lot, but what I was missing was my old way of life where every day I could make my own decisions, earn my own money, drive where I wanted when I wanted. Which was not necessarily a bad thing! Follow along. It was that sense of independence I missed, having now been placed in a position where I was dependant on a family to feed and house me, doing whatever they instructed me to, going along with their day to day routines. In a sense I was living someone else’s life and I’m like ‘I want to live my own life!’. I feel it too when I go into shops, that selfishness desire to buy things for myself, missing being able to go into Kmart and know I could buy whatever I felt like at the time. But God reminded me of the verse in 1 Corinthians 6 that says ‘your life is not your own, you were bought at a price; Therefore glorify God with your body and in your spirit, which are Gods.’ I’ve given my life to Jesus, it’s not mine anymore. If this is what God has for me right now then I should accept it knowing His plans are better than my own!

Sin in essence is self-rule, that is what we are saved from. That well known verse in Isaiah 56 suddenly made a whole lot more sense to me the other day- it says we all like sheep had gone astray, every one of us turning to His own way, but the Lord laid on Him the iniquity of us all. It’s not easy. All that is in the world- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, the pride of life- are things we need to constantly be checking that we haven’t fallen into. But 1 John 2 continues in giving us the encouragement, saying that ‘the world is passing away, and the lust of it, but he who does the will of God abides forever’. So please join with me in prayer that God would kill my selfishness and give me selflessness.

Well I think I’ve said enough for now! I will try get some pictures posted to add the rest of the details...Any questions or comments or if you want to make my day by giving me a detailed account of how you are doing, just email or facebook or skype...

Some prayer points would be:
To be attentive to all the Lord wants to show me while being in Germany.( I’ll be here til around the 20^th of June). For God to use me in people’s lives, and for ways to serve practically.
For God to continue to speak to me about the direction He has for me after I finish bible college.
For God to provide money for me to do my next semester.
God Bless. Tchuss!

Something I love about Germany is the story-book like altstadts (old cities). This one in Herbon was particularly cute!

If only it really was my own cottage....but we were just visiting the grandparents for the day...

Spagetti icecream anyone? Europe is awesome for its fancy Italian ice cream cafes... If missionary life fails i'm thinking these could be a big hit in Australia... =)

My new friends from the church here, Nellie (who is in fact Peruvian but recently married a German, they are who I am staying with for the next week) & Lisa.

Band "red rain" from New Zealand came to do an outdoor outreach concert in a park here in Dusseldorf. Many heard the gospel, it was great to be a part of.

Updates...

Guess what? I just finished and submitted my last assignment for this semester. I can hardly believe things are winding up and my classes are all over. It feels like only the beginning, like I just got settled, but now travel arrangements are being made, suitcases dusted off and people are talking excitedly about returning home to their beloved fast food chains (oh, and family members). I guess it’s a little different mindset for me, as I am thinking in terms of remaining for the summer and, if the Lord wills, a second semester. But there’s a sense of finality in the air, that means change is around the corner, and that makes my stomach tighten and heart grow just that bit heavier. It is a good time to be looking toward the Lord.

Before I talk about what’s to come however, I need to backtrack to what has been. Let’s start with the awesome week I had in Poland. As a team of 6 girls and a couple with two young kids, we set out for Poland, with a long day of travel ahead. Through four different means of transportation, totalling 15 hours, we made it through the beautiful Slovakian mountains into Poland, and onto the city of Radom.

We went to serve alongside a couple who have been ploughing the tough deeply Catholic soil for 17 years. They have a small fellowship and four gorgeous kids between the ages of 5 and 12 (who are in the public schools and speak fluent Polish!) and were in much need of encouragement and refreshment- something our team, with youthful energy, a variety of amusing senses of humour and most importantly a heart to serve, were sure to provide.

The week was absolutely packed; we had three nights of ‘english clubs’, (free English lessons open to the public), three afternoons of kids VBS (crazy games, bible stories, crafts) and four mornings of going into colleges or highschool’s to teach English and share a gospel drama, looking for the Lord to establish friendships and open conversations. When we weren’t doing ministry we were walking to and from our destinations (at least 2 hours a day) or preparing crafts for the next day into the late hours of the night. For the week I earned the nickname “crafts” for my creative ideas and “betty crocker” because, well as you know I’m pretty at home in the kitchen. That was fun because I’d missed cooking being at the college, and I was able to serve the team in that way.

We were also able to do some touristy things, like visiting an old city with cobblestone streets and a ruined castle, and sampling the Polish cuisine (really yummy, alot of potato based foods and beetroot soup). It was non-stop, but I think I enjoyed every minute- even when I was sick for the latter half of the week and all but lost my voice.

God was so faithful in giving us his strength and answering prayer- it was an amazing team, very caring of each other and unified. When we were weak we resorted to laughter to carry us through, in fact I think I laughed more on the trip than the entire semester before that! I learnt so much too about letting God be in control of the results, and not striving in my flesh but letting God love people through me. I really believe I saw people respond to this light that was in the midst of our group, which was Jesus in us.

Some of the coolest parts about the trip were the relationships we formed- firstly with the Kulah family, and then particularly with a girl named Paulina who spent a large majority of the week with us after meeting us the second day. She was a Catholic definitely being drawn to a more full relationship with Jesus Christ, so we loved her and tried to give her a taste of Koinania- real Christian fellowship. The last night we had a ‘coffee house’ outreach/testimony night, which a few of the students we had met during the week came along to. It was really great, a lot of fun and I believe God spoke into the hearts of those who came along.

So that’s the general overview! Since getting back its been full on homework, especially this last week. Right now I have another cold, I should’ve probably have spent the last couple days in bed but had major assignments I had to finish so I’ve been pushing my body to the max...

I’ve been up to my old video editing habits, which has been the most draining assignment of the week but the most rewarding...a group assignment where we ended up filming the story of Solomon and the Shulamite from Song of Songs....with my friends Agi and Miranda, yes two girls, one with a boy wig on....needless to say we had the whole school in rapturous laughter, and my teacher Phil was more than impressed (as well as shocked, surprised and amused all at the same time). So it’s been as much as its left me drained. I’m looking forward to a very relaxed weekend.

But then I have to think about packing up, and moving on! The exciting news is the Lord has opened a door for me to serve at a church in Germany for the first month of summer break. I’ll be doing all sorts of things there including helping with the kids ministry, practical stuff like painting and organising, babysitting, and whatever other ways I can serve. Please pray for all the plans for that to be finalised this week, especially with housing. For restored health, and for God to prepare my heart and go before in all aspects.

I miss you all in Aus and pray your hearts would be directed more and more into the love of Christ. He is the only source of living water!

Seretlek! That’s Hungarian for I love you!

PS. See my facebook page for a video footage of my Poland trip, plus my Wisdom Lit project